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Ten mods I’d like to see for Skyrim

10 mods I’d like to see for Skyrim:

* Unique children. Because their faces all look exactly the same, and are the same age and height. And they all seem to have American accents, yet are Nords. Even the clothes are very similar. Is there a secret kiddy cloning factory somewhere in Skyrim? Except for the few royal kids and plot-vital characters, perhaps what’s needed is a radical mod that just turns them all into impish house-spirit hobs, or similar? Make them benign little supernatural entities, which float around and utter mysteriously gnomic Anglo-Saxon riddles.

* Outhouses (i.e. toilets). Not many, just occasionally a stinking privy to be found around the back of somewhere. I did find one at the bottom of a prison, but that’s it. One toilet for the whole of Skyrim? No wonder the folks there are a little uptight.

* Domestic cats. About a week after the fans get the Creation Kit, this is sure to happen. Skyrim players love their pussies. Whoever makes it will also have to edit the book about cats in the Blue Palace in Solitude.

* The naff ‘fast-travel’ horse-carts need to be removed and replaced by stilt-striders from Morrowind. Or if that’s too difficult, then perhaps small armoured mammoths.

* Makeover mods that just affect companion Lydia, not all females.

* Taverns that look different from each other on the inside. Taverns that have day-night cycle, so the clientele are not the same at 4am as they were at 8pm.

* Dungeons that look unique inside. For instance, early in the main quest the Golden Claw dungeon looks far too much like Ustengrav dungeon.

* Press “E” to shut the corpse-looting dialogue, as well as to open it.

* Operational boats (haven’t found one yet that would take me out on a river/lake).

* And, of course, pack guars and travelling merchants that actually travel the roads.


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